Exercise vs. Movement

Today is the second day of the Radiant Goddess e-course, and it includes a journaling assignment. First step is to write about what exercise currently means to me, and then write about how I would like to feel while exercising.


I have a love-hate relationship with exercise. My body responds wonderfully when I move it, and feels pretty miserable when I don't. Getting started is what's hard. Ah, perfect subject for tapping (EFT)! I'll work on that.

Once I get started, strength exercises usually feel enjoyable. Aerobic exercise is uncomfortable for the first minutes, and then I get my "second wind" and it starts to feel more enjoyable, though the thought in my head is usually closer to "I think I'm going to die!"

There have been times in my life when I enjoyed both kinds of exercise. I used to be able to jog several miles and enjoy the experience. I started slowly and it took a couple of weeks before I started finding it easy to get going. By then I had learned about "second wind" so I could get through the beginning uncomfortable part. Also, I was jogging on a road through the woods, so the air smelled good and it was beautiful. That helped distract from the breathless feelings.

I would like to feel appreciation when I exercise. I would like to appreciate the fact that I can move freely. I want to appreciate how wonderfully cared for I feel when I can feel my body getting stronger and more flexible. I want to feel gratitude for the improved health movement brings.

I also want to be mindful of the physical feeling as I move. I often am oblivious of my body, and it feels good to pay attention to how moving my body makes it feel better.

The key words for me to focus on while moving (I do like the word moving instead of exercise) are APPRECIATION and MINDFULNESS. If I can focus on those, I think I will enjoy moving more. Ultimately, I want to feel JOYFUL when I move my body.

Regarding getting started moving, I'd like to see it as a continuation of what I already do all day, just an increased tempo. I see it as so "apart" from the rest of my life, so "other" from everything else I do.

For some reason, I'm not as stimulated by the challenges movement presents as most other challenges in my life. I think there is fear mixed into how I feel at a physical challenge. I remember when I was little (maybe 10 or 12 years old), I used to be afraid to try physical things, such as flips or cartwheels or other gymnastics moves. I felt ashamed as I watched other kids fling themselves into the effort and my fear kept me petrified.

As a young adult, much of that had disappeared. I began to enjoy most physical challenges. I hiked and backpacked solo in Alaska, I learned to scuba dive, I worked on fishing boats (which involved some tricky physical feats), etc. Except for scuba diving, though, none of these involved being upside down. Being upside down under water is very different, because your body is fully supported by the water all the time. I think being upside down may have something to do with the fear. Years later when I was learning to do yoga, I learned to do a headstand, but I never enjoyed it. I don't know why being upside down is so uncomfortable for me.

Anyway, I'll try to work on the fear with tapping and see if there's other feeling underlying not wanting to start exercising/movement. And when I do move, I'll focus on APPRECIATION, MINDFULNESS, and JOY.