For the past couple of years, I feel like I've been on hold in terms of personal growth. So much change and activity has been going on in my physical life that I've had little time to reflect on what it all means. Recently I've started trying to catch up with myself, to catch up on growing from my experiences.
At times like this, when I feel I'm breaking new ground, I sometimes look for a teacher, someone who has traveled the path upon which I'm embarking, someone who can't point out possible pitfalls and suggest the surest routes. A teacher can be anyone--friend, lover, family member, co-worker, even an actual teacher. In fact, on some level, virtually everyone in my life is a teacher, regardless of their external role. Often I find the teacher(s) I seek by simply beginning to search. I'm an avid reader, so I may look for intriguing book titles. (Being Peace
, for example, led me to many years of study with Thich Nhat Hanh through retreats, books, and practices he recommends. That study will continue for the rest of my life.) I also look for talks, videos, websites, etc. that seem to have a particular "pull" for me, something that piques my curiosity."When the student is ready, the teacher appears..." Judging by the number of teachers I've been discovering during the past couple of weeks, I think I've pretty well demonstrated that I'm ready. For me to be attracted to a teacher, I first need to hear/read/see something from them that causes my attention to zoom into focus with a sharpness like a microscope. There's almost a sound when that happens. It's like being sucked at great speed from a far distance to a very specific point. (If you are not sure what I mean, try watching the movie Uncorked
, the version starring Minnie Driver, Nigel Hawthorne, Rufus Sewell, and Amelia Heinle--note the effect when Rufus gets an insight.) This happens when I hear a simple sentence or phrase that give me a new understanding about some problem or issue I've been pondering.Next, I need to get a feeling from the teacher's work which indicates their teachings are not primarily based in their own ego. I have no patience with "teachers" who intentionally set out to gain celebrity or wealth by using spirituality. I want to see a passion in them that is unrelated to external benefits (even though they may be receiving external benefits as a result of their work).
I also look for signs of integrity. If the teacher has been teaching for awhile, are their teachings now consistent with what they taught at the beginning? Are there limits on how far they will adapt their practices to reach others? Do they practice what they preach? Do they speak from personal experience?
Finally, does the teacher demonstrate deep compassion for people they are teaching? Is there an underlying unconditional love evident in the manner which they deal with people?
At this particular juncture in my life, I began by returning to SARK, aka Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy. SARK has long been a source of inspiration in my life. I love her openness, bountiful creativity, lovely laugh, and, well, her use of colors! Through following related links from her emails and website, I came upon other remarkable free spirits, in particular Goddess Leonie. Goddess Leonie organized the World's Biggest Summit, an online event over a 30-day period which presented interviews and presentations by about a hundred fascinating personalities--all free, and all still available via the Internet.
I'll be following up on several of the teachers I learned about through the World's Biggest Summit, but one, Dr. Lissa Rankin, led me to another online series of interviews about health, the Women's International Summit for Health. There I listened to an interview with Martha Beck, a columnist for Oprah's O Magazine. Normally I'm cautious about personalities with that much celebrity, but Martha's talk seemed so grounded and insightful that I was pulled to learn more about what she teaches.
I've even discovered some peculiar directions that I'm not sure what to do with. For example, after watching a YouTube video by Beck, I saw a "related" video by a young woman whose face was peculiarly interesting to me. The video title was on a subject I normally would have simply skipped over ("coming out" publicly about being an Arcturian, as in from the Arcturus start system--I mean, really?), but I was so fascinated by the look in her eyes that I clicked to listen (what can I say, it was late at night, my resistance was low...). Much to my surprise (much to my surprise!) she came across as delightfully genuine. I had heard of the "starseed" concept before, but this was the first time I'd seen someone (who appeared rational) talk about experiencing it. As I said, I'm not sure how I'll follow up with all of this. Perhaps it was just a mind stretching exercise, or perhaps I'll learn more about the meaning for me later. Who knows? There definitely was something in her message that intrigued me, however.
If I've learned anything over my lifetime, it's to try to keep an open mind toward everything. If something pulls my attention, there's always been a reason. I've got a lot of grist for the mill at the moment, and am looking forward to finding my path through all this new territory.
So what do I want to work on that I'm hoping these teachers (and others yet to be discovered) will help me learn to address? Here's just a few from the top of my list:
- reducing physical weight
- lack of exercise
- health issues (digestion, psoriasis, fatigue)
- relationship with adult daughter (we share a house)
- relationship with grandson (2 years old)
- sorting through possible next goals:
- art (pastels, acrylics, and oil paintings)
- writing (locavore books, blogs, etc.)
- returning to college to study art
- studying to be a naturalist
- hiking the WA portion of the Pacific Crest Trail next year
- learning to garden well
- or ??
These may not sound like spiritual goals to you, but I can assure you they are. Everything is spiritual. I have spent much spiritual study on more ethereal topics to the point of ignoring my physical and emotional level issues. I know a spiritual approach is what will be most effective in helping me learn how to grow from these challenges to experiencing joy.
What a rich soil from which to flourish and flower!
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