Feelings About Whitney Houston

Last Sunday I watched a long special on OWN (Oprah Winfrey's TV network) about Whitney Houston. First there was an interview of Houston by Oprah. That was followed by an interview with the family about Houston's death.

I felt strongly pulled to watch the programs, though at first I didn't understand why. I have enjoyed Houston's music very much, but didn't really want to know all the maudlin details of her demise. I try to avoid filling my mind with images of pain and negativity whenever possible. I just don't see the point of seeking out misery.


This time, though, I felt I just had to know more about what happened. I also trusted Oprah not to focus on the sensational aspects but to try to reveal the truth, to whatever degree possible.

I was not disappointed. The interviews were very poignant and revealing.

But why did I care? I considered that question even as I watched the shows. It seemed like such a cliche story--young woman becomes too famous too fast, falls into a bad relationship, (de)compensates with drugs, pulls out of it a couple of times, only to relapse, and eventually die in a scene that the media sensationalizes. I always find these kinds of events sad, and I sometimes also feel a little frustrated that human beings can put so much pressure on each other for the sake of money that lives are sometimes destroyed. Usually, I feel a sense of sorrow, an acceptance that we Americans are working on money and greed issues as a nation, and then I move on to things more personal to me, things where I feel I can have an effect.

By the time the shows were over, though, I realized why Whitney Houston mattered to me so much more than other artists who have had similarly tragic experiences. I didn't just enjoy her music. Her songs touched me in a much deeper way than typically "enjoyable" music.

I remembered tears coming to my eyes when I first heard her song "Greatest Love of All," and later crying uncontrollably when I saw the video. I watched it over and over. I took it to the mental health center where I worked and showed it to a group of patients with chronic mental illnesses. We all cried together. They asked to see it again and again.

If she had never produced another piece of music, I would have thought she was a great artist. Her ability to convey the feelings underlying the message of that song was, quite simply, miraculous. But she didn't stop there. She repeated the magic with other songs, strong, meaningful songs full of spirit. All of her music seemed to come from a deep and very spiritual source, and she was able to communicate with that same deep place in others.

I ultimately realized I wanted to know about her life and death because I felt it was the least I could do in return for the experiences she had given me. She was a sensitive spirit and deserved witnesses, people who would remember and feel the deeper meaning of her life and work, not just the tabloid version.

Whitney, it was a privilege to share your music. It brought me great joy. It always will. Thank you so much.